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Funny Status Updates

Funny Status Updates

It is time, most of us should confess being addicts. Yes, we are all addicted to social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and many more. People look for new ways to keep their profiles alive and abuzz with comments from friends. One such way to do so is using funny status update ideas. Adding something hilarious in the widget will help spread laughter as well as create some interest in your profile. But, are you short of finding some interesting random and funny status updates? Amuse your friends and family with some witty status updates shared below.

Funny Ideas for Status Updates

Feels like getting some work done…and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.

Doesn’t suffer from insanity… he enjoys every minute of it.

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, my anger level is a 7.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water. (Nature first, let’s save the environment together!)

Was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said “Parking Fine”.

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.

Is normally not a praying person, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.

Is too drunk to update his status.

Just had a reality check….it bounced

Thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”.

Whenever a man asks me what kind of books I like, I tell him checkbooks.

Likes to think one step ahead… Like a carpenter… Who builds stairs.

Is good at many things, none of which generate any income.

Does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them. Because they’re unfair!

I can do a really good impression of somebody doing an impression of Chewbacca.

911, what’s your emergency?” – “Quick, my dreams are dying!”

I’m an early bird, and a night owl…so I’m wise and I have worms

Why did Jack and Jill fetch water up on a hill?

Great….my dog just sat on my status.

Single and looking forever.

Temporarily addicted to Facebook.

Closed for the day.

Asks all uneducated wall posters to press Ctrl + Alt + Del and then “see what happens”.

Dear Week, You are not attractive and I am leaving you for Weekend.. I’d say it wasn’t you, and that it was me.. But yeah, it was you..

You will have the song “I’m a Barbie Girl” stuck in your head in 2 seconds.

^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– Wow For a second there, I was bored to death.

Says hating me is an emotional disease. so, for those who hate me. GET WELL SOON.

Don’t be upset if people preferred another one to you.. its hard to convince the monkey that strawberries are sweeter than bananas..(“,)

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!

Would tell you the joke about the butter……..but you will just go and spread it!!

Grammar is important. For instance, commas save lives: Let’s eat grandpa. Let’s eat, grandpa.

Thinks that teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.

Can’t really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before I discovered Facebook…

If you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it’s one of two things: either a new girl, or a new car!

ⓜⓨ ⓟⓞⓢⓣⓢ ©ⓐⓝ ⓣⓨⓟⓔ ©ⓘⓡ©ⓛⓔⓢ ⓐⓡⓞⓤⓝⓓ ⓨⓞⓤⓡⓢ

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I don’t want to sound paranoid, but I’m pretty sure people are following me.

Is wondering.. if you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson & Johnson’s “No More Tears”, would it create a beautiful irony?

Got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.

These were a few ideas that will definitely make your profile widget sound interesting. These status updates will help initiate social interaction on your online profiles. Hope these hilarious status updates help you tickle the funny bones of your online social networking friends.


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